belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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