i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
