i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
