I want to stick my p in your. b.
my phone needs a breathalizer
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
