Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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