I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
