i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
this beer tastes like vomit already
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize