i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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