:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize