You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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