4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
