he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
