O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
