5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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