he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
pray to the hookup gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize