You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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