If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
