That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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