Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
