You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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