I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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