I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize