you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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