actually, I'm a sock model
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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