Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
