I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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