I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
