is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
