No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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