Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
