i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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