Your tits are I can't wait for
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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