I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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