I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
