I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
