she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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