this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
