Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
