What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
