nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
