I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Two words: blizzard sex
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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