Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
