Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
