told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
