My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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