the day after is always just damage control
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize