it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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