I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
