I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Yo dont text me then not text me
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
