I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
