Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
