Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
