I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When are your genitals available?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You ruined the universe
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
