she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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