woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
