her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
