Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I want to walk on stilts...naked
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
