If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
