I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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