i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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