I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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