An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
