Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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