hotel room ftw
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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