i don't plan on having that self control this summer
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
