we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
